There's a finality to sunsets that has always stirred strong emotions in me. Sometimes it's the relief that a difficult day has come to an end. Other times, it's gratitude that I was able to see the end of another day. I know it's cliche, but every sunset could be your last, right? Occasionally, I'll smile at the sunset, and use the quiet to commit the day's events to memory; sad because it's over, but appreciative that it happened.
This was the final sunset of May, 2021, and it did something that few sunsets have done for me. It signaled a beginning rather than an end.
Over the past several years, I have come to understand and accept that I am not the well-adjusted adult I convinced myself I was in my early 20s. Like so many of us, I have issues. It's a familiar story to many, I'm sure: childhood trauma manifesting itself into questionable adult behavior. These behaviors have the pesky habit of affecting our relationships with those in our lives, and try as we might, we social animals crave the company, love, attention, and approval of others. We may distance, ghost, fight, and detest select humans, but at the end of the day we need each other. That's normal, but if left unchecked it can turn toxic and harmful.
This is my journey into understanding my own mental process and the emotions that come with that. This is my journey into finding the healthiest ways to cope and overcome that which does my serve the evolution of my higher self. This is my journey into mental health.
I'm starting this blog because my story and my experiences might help others. But I'm also doing it to help me; journaling has always helped me. It allows me to purge my thoughts when they become too negative or intrusive. It allows me to purge my feelings when they overwhelm me to the point that I can't function. Finally, it allows me to record the moments when I struggled so that I can look back and be grateful for the struggle, because struggling means I'm doing the work. So many people live with their trauma, letting it fester like a wound and slowly kill them without them ever knowing or accepting that something was wrong with them all along.
I'm not a licensed psychologist or therapist (though I will be linking articles and posts when appropriate). I'm just a writer, and I have a journey to share. I hope you find something useful or insightful as I document this journey, and I hope you share yours, too.